Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I deserve this hangover.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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