Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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