I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
