i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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