how can u be prego again
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
