i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize