Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
