How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
