hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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