i think i have herpe
just one?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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