woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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