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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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