My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
