The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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