i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
