when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
