he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
