oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
