I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
