you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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