Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize