There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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