clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
