PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
