shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Randomize
