I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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