Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
