Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
