I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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