If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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