Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
be right there i have to get my cape
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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