Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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