I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
