handjob tips. give me some.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize