Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
She announced her abortion via fbk
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
