A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
