she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
