Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
