I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
