Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
