okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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