Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
