Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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