Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
