He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
