We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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