I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
