I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
