She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize