her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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