i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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