Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
how drunk are you?
Several
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize