Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
