i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
