we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize