I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
