last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
