i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
